SPIRIT UPDATE: Signs of ancient life on Mars - sol 84, Apr 1, 2004

On sol 84, which ended at 10:23 a.m. PST on April 1, NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit explored a crater and discovered what appeared to be a big pile of unwashed dishes.  Off on the horizon, Spirit’s panoramic cameras imaged heap after heap of dirty laundry.  On the other side of the planet, science instruments on board the twin rover Opportunity found clear indications that beer once flowed like water on the red planet. 

NASA Scientist, Dr. Steve Squyres stated, “This conclusively proves what we have suspected all along – that Men are indeed from Mars.”  He also hinted that there was growing scientific evidence to support the ancient belief that Women were from Venus.  Anthropologists at the University of Cornell are working on the theory that the different sexes from the two planets long ago agreed to meet in the middle and settle down on planet Earth.  “Things have never been the same since then” laments a professor at Cornell who wished to stay anonymous.

The mostly male team of scientists at NASA’s Mission Control center at JPL reported feeling a primordial sense of belonging as they gazed at the Martian landscape on the large wall mounted flat panel monitors.  Visiting Astronaut Sally Ride said, “I am really disgusted – I want to go back home”, presumably meaning Venus.  On hearing this, lead scientist Dr. James Garvin and Steve Squyres reportedly jostled with each other vying to be the person to drive her back to her home.